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Why Not Me
Self belief and positive self image lead to success
Do you have a "why not me" attitude? By this I mean the ability to easily imagine yourself achieving success even though the goals you set for yourself might seem impossible to reach. If you have a "why not me" attitude you see somebody who has made a huge success and you think "I can do that: if that worked to bring him success, why not me" or "I can do that: if she can overcome her difficulties, I can overcome mine too". Seeing somebody else's success does not invoke envy, it acts as an inspiration for you to strive to reach your goals.
If you don't have this attitude, it is all too easy for you to think of any number of reasons why you might fail in anything you attempt. Just admitting to the possibility of failure opens the door to increasingly negative ideas which will surge in and prevent you from setting ambitious goals for yourself. The key is that you have to create and maintain a positive mental image of yourself. This won't happen if you think that all rich successful people must be different from you, better in some way and possess some secret power necessary to success. For instance, if you take away the millions of dollars, don't you think Bill Gates might seem less special and even a little geeky?
"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not" - Author Unknown
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There is a certain type of person who has the opposite to the "why not me" attitude. They have the "if only" attitude. These people exhibit masses of envy but, at the same time, try to belittle anyone who is successful. Take, for example, the couch potato who sees a beautiful actress on TV and says "I could look as good as her if only I had her money". The truth usually is that the actress has worked hard to look the best she can by following careful diet and exercise regimes and by taking good care of her hair and skin. By focusing on the fact that the actress is wealthy, the couch potato seeks to avoid accepting responsibility for her thick waist, muddy complexion and ratty hair. No amount of money would get the poor old potato off her couch and eating salads, jogging in the fresh air and shampooing her hair regularly. She would be exactly the same person but with more money, and the money would be completely wasted on her; her mentality would still be that of a victim of circumstance; give her a million dollars and she would envy the person with two million.
"You can't be envious and happy at the same time". - "Harold Coffin
It is not only women who have the "if only" attitude. There are men who sit in bars with their friends talking about successful business owners and say things like "That could be me if only I had his money". The point these misguided individuals fail to grasp is that the wealth did not bring success, it happened the opposite way round. If these bar-room philosophers were given a fortune, they would not use it to build success and increase their wealth, all they would manage to do would be to spend the money. Success requires effort and a positive attitude where there is no room (indeed, no need) for the corrosive feeling of envy. If you adopt an "if only" attitude, you will be a failure who has never even attempted to succeed.
"Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has." - Harold Coffin
One of my personal favourite success stories is that of Sir Alan Sugar. He is the product of a working class family and was born in a poor part of London's East End (same place as me, in fact: Hackney). Sir Alan did not have the advantage of a college education, he left school at age 16. He started his first business from his bedroom with capital of only £100. The only asset of the business was a van. He is now reported to be worth over £800 million. The van has been replaced by a chauffeur driven Mercedes. The bar-room philosophers should ponder Sir Alan's advantages: no wealthy family, no higher education, no lucky windfall of capital, no miracles. There are millions of people who had exactly the same advantages who currently sit in bars in the poorer parts of town telling themselves that they could eat in exclusive restaurants, own a fleet of luxury vehicles, receive a knighthood and be famous "if only". They cannot admit to themselves that Sir Alan built his empire out of hard work and became successful through his own abilities and his belief in himself.
"One person with a belief is equal to ninety-nine who have only interests." - John Stuart Mill
Envy is a highly destructive emotion. If you sincerely wish to succeed, you must leave no room for negative emotions like envy in your mind, you must recognise your value as a human being and build your confidence in your own abilities. You must believe that you are capable of great achievements. Self belief is essential to success.
"If you think you can do it you can" - John Burroughs
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