Having A Bad Blog Day
Two days really. Things seem to be conspiring to prevent me getting here to blog - no big things, you understand, just a herd of small nuisances. Not much of an excuse, I know, but it is all I have.
Yesterday I went shopping. I know that doesn't sound very exciting or particularly time consuming and, to tell the truth, it was not the former but it was most certainly the latter and by the time I staggered home I was to tired to think, let alone type.
Having the freedom to go shopping midweek is still a novelty to me. I have always worked full time (until March 2004) and shopping has been reserved for weekends, evenings. lunchtimes and the odd day's leave. Christmas used to be a nightmare which started at the end of November and went on until Christmas Eve. If it hadn't been done by Christmas Eve, it could stay not done. I was officially on holiday from then on and would not venture near a shop for at least ten days. I would become a Christmas hermit and love every minute of it.
There was tremendous pressure involved in shopping for food, Christmas gifts, more food, luxuries, yet more food, wrapping paper, mountains of food, tinsel etc. It would end up that in the final two weeks before Chnristmas, I would find myself shopping every lunch time when the shops were heaving with customers all in the same desperate position as me. It was an achievement if I managed to buy just one item.
As I am not employed now, I have all the time I could want to go shopping. Strangely, I hardly ever go shopping and when I do, it is all done without stress or anxiety. I spend no longer shopping, in fact, I spend less time. I believe this is because I am not under time constraints which cause pressure. Also I do not have to focus all my energy on ensuring that I enjoy those precious holidays around Christmas and New Year. I can be relaxed every day. I can enjoy every day.
I realise now how much work took over my whole life, not just the 9-5 weekdays. It was always at the back of my mind influencing the time I could spend on anything. If I started a project on a Saturday, I knew it had to be finished the next day or else it would have to be shelved for a week before I would have time to work on it again. If I was on vacation, the days were always counting down until the dreaded return to the office. Evenings were coloured by the thought that I would be back at work in a few hours' time.
After tasting the freedom of working from home, I could never go back to that lifestyle.
Today I went to my allotment and carried on digging over the vegetable beds ready for the winter frosts to get into the soil. I dug up my parsnips (my first attempt at growing them) and the last of the carrots as I am afraid the ground will freeze soon. No food ever tasted sweeter than home grown vegetables. I got cold and muddy and felt very happy. These are the simple pleasures of my life.
When I got home, I found my weekly Happy Guy column had arrived. I look forward to this every week. This is it and I hope you enjoy it.
Just Because The Phone Rings...
By David Leonhardt
Brrrrrringgg. The telephone rang.
It was as predictable as Niagara Falls. We had just sat down to a
piping
hot dinner, so of course the telephone would ring. My wife reminded me
that
just because the phone rings, doesn't mean we have to answer it, but...
"Hello," I answered.
"Good evening, sir. I am calling to let you know about a fantabulous
new
insurance program that will protect you, your family and everyone you
ever
meet from warts," The Voice declared. "Isn't this an exciting time to
be
spending on this planet?"
"Are you trying to sell something?" I asked suspiciously, knowing that
the
answer would be...
"Not at all, sir," The Voice assured me. "I am just calling to let you
know that you can now be protected against warts for much less than you
would think."
He greatly overestimated my fascination with the actuarial aspects of
living wartlessly. "And you are not trying to sell me anything?" I
asked
hopefully.
"Of course not," The Voice repeated. "I am calling to protect your
entire
family from warts forever."
"My grandmother is already protected against warts forever," I mused
out
loud.
Complete silence. "How did she do that?" The Voice asked with subdued
awe.
"She died," I replied. "She's been protected for forty years, now. We
suspect that she will remain protected forever."
"Uh. I see," The Voice replied. "You, too, can be protected against
warts..."
"You want me to die?" I asked.
"No..."
"Honey, this telemarketer is threatening me," I called out into the
kitchen.
"Well get back here, then," my wife responded. "Your dinner is getting
cold."
"Now look here," The Voice began.
"Now see what you've done," I scolded into the telephone. "You've
upset my
wife. You could at least have waited until after dinner to threaten
me."
My wife called out again. "Why do you have to answer the phone during
dinner? Just because it rings doesn't mean you have to answer it."
I shouted back. "It would be rude not to answer. The Voice took time
out
of his busy schedule to warn us about warts - the least we can do is
take
the time to thank him. Now," I said into the phone. "About those
threats."
"See here, I did not threaten you," The Voice tried to explain. " I am
simply trying to help you get rid of your warts."
"Do I have warts?" I asked in amazement. "Sa-ay, how would you know if
I
have warts?"
"I don't. I mean, you might. That is..."
"Have you gotten rid of the telemarketer yet?" my wife called to me.
"Not yet, honey. He's diagnosing my warts," I called back.
"No, you misunderstand," The Voice began.
"What warts?" my wife asked, as she came into the room.
"He says I have warts," I explained.
"I did not say you had warts," The Voice tried to interject.
"Well, tell him you don't have any," my wife said.
"OK. I will," I said to my wife. Then into the phone, "I think you
have a
mistake. I don't have warts. Where did you get my number from?"
"I have this list of names..." The Voice tried to reply.
"Could you please hang up?" My wife begged. "Just because the
telephone
rings does not mean we have to answer it."
"OK," I said.
"Now please get rid of the telemarketer so we can enjoy our nice,
chilling
dinner," she said with not a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
"My wife wants me to eat my dinner," I explained to The Voice. "Can I
please have your telephone number so that we can continue this most
educational discussion tomorrow morning?"
"I'm not going to give you my phone number," The Voice retorted.
"Don't be silly. How can I call you back if you don't give me your
number?" I asked.
"I don't want you to call me back. I just..." The Voice tried to
explain.
"Now hold on just a cotton-pickin' minute," I said. "You're the one
who
wanted to talk to me in the first place. I am doing you a favor by
taking
the time to speak with you on a subject of your choosing. The least
you
can do is let me call you at the time of my choosing, so that I can
enjoy a
nice hot meal with my wife. Sa-ay, are you one of those anti-family
crusaders, calling people during dinnertime just to keep families from
spending quality time together? I've heard about people like you..."
-------
A few minutes later, I returned to my dinner, which by now was as cold
as a
penguin with no feathers. "So you finally hung up on the
telemarketer?" my
wife asked. "Good for you."
"Not quite," I admitted.
"What?" my wife started. "Is he still on the phone?"
"I don't think so," I replied. "I think he hung up on me."
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
David Leonhardt is author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/Item.asp?Catalog=Books&Item=059517826X
Read more personal growth articles:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html
Visit his liquid vitamins store:
http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net
Or his happiness website:
http://www.thehappyguy.com
Yesterday I went shopping. I know that doesn't sound very exciting or particularly time consuming and, to tell the truth, it was not the former but it was most certainly the latter and by the time I staggered home I was to tired to think, let alone type.
Having the freedom to go shopping midweek is still a novelty to me. I have always worked full time (until March 2004) and shopping has been reserved for weekends, evenings. lunchtimes and the odd day's leave. Christmas used to be a nightmare which started at the end of November and went on until Christmas Eve. If it hadn't been done by Christmas Eve, it could stay not done. I was officially on holiday from then on and would not venture near a shop for at least ten days. I would become a Christmas hermit and love every minute of it.
There was tremendous pressure involved in shopping for food, Christmas gifts, more food, luxuries, yet more food, wrapping paper, mountains of food, tinsel etc. It would end up that in the final two weeks before Chnristmas, I would find myself shopping every lunch time when the shops were heaving with customers all in the same desperate position as me. It was an achievement if I managed to buy just one item.
As I am not employed now, I have all the time I could want to go shopping. Strangely, I hardly ever go shopping and when I do, it is all done without stress or anxiety. I spend no longer shopping, in fact, I spend less time. I believe this is because I am not under time constraints which cause pressure. Also I do not have to focus all my energy on ensuring that I enjoy those precious holidays around Christmas and New Year. I can be relaxed every day. I can enjoy every day.
I realise now how much work took over my whole life, not just the 9-5 weekdays. It was always at the back of my mind influencing the time I could spend on anything. If I started a project on a Saturday, I knew it had to be finished the next day or else it would have to be shelved for a week before I would have time to work on it again. If I was on vacation, the days were always counting down until the dreaded return to the office. Evenings were coloured by the thought that I would be back at work in a few hours' time.
After tasting the freedom of working from home, I could never go back to that lifestyle.
Today I went to my allotment and carried on digging over the vegetable beds ready for the winter frosts to get into the soil. I dug up my parsnips (my first attempt at growing them) and the last of the carrots as I am afraid the ground will freeze soon. No food ever tasted sweeter than home grown vegetables. I got cold and muddy and felt very happy. These are the simple pleasures of my life.
When I got home, I found my weekly Happy Guy column had arrived. I look forward to this every week. This is it and I hope you enjoy it.
Just Because The Phone Rings...
By David Leonhardt
Brrrrrringgg. The telephone rang.
It was as predictable as Niagara Falls. We had just sat down to a
piping
hot dinner, so of course the telephone would ring. My wife reminded me
that
just because the phone rings, doesn't mean we have to answer it, but...
"Hello," I answered.
"Good evening, sir. I am calling to let you know about a fantabulous
new
insurance program that will protect you, your family and everyone you
ever
meet from warts," The Voice declared. "Isn't this an exciting time to
be
spending on this planet?"
"Are you trying to sell something?" I asked suspiciously, knowing that
the
answer would be...
"Not at all, sir," The Voice assured me. "I am just calling to let you
know that you can now be protected against warts for much less than you
would think."
He greatly overestimated my fascination with the actuarial aspects of
living wartlessly. "And you are not trying to sell me anything?" I
asked
hopefully.
"Of course not," The Voice repeated. "I am calling to protect your
entire
family from warts forever."
"My grandmother is already protected against warts forever," I mused
out
loud.
Complete silence. "How did she do that?" The Voice asked with subdued
awe.
"She died," I replied. "She's been protected for forty years, now. We
suspect that she will remain protected forever."
"Uh. I see," The Voice replied. "You, too, can be protected against
warts..."
"You want me to die?" I asked.
"No..."
"Honey, this telemarketer is threatening me," I called out into the
kitchen.
"Well get back here, then," my wife responded. "Your dinner is getting
cold."
"Now look here," The Voice began.
"Now see what you've done," I scolded into the telephone. "You've
upset my
wife. You could at least have waited until after dinner to threaten
me."
My wife called out again. "Why do you have to answer the phone during
dinner? Just because it rings doesn't mean you have to answer it."
I shouted back. "It would be rude not to answer. The Voice took time
out
of his busy schedule to warn us about warts - the least we can do is
take
the time to thank him. Now," I said into the phone. "About those
threats."
"See here, I did not threaten you," The Voice tried to explain. " I am
simply trying to help you get rid of your warts."
"Do I have warts?" I asked in amazement. "Sa-ay, how would you know if
I
have warts?"
"I don't. I mean, you might. That is..."
"Have you gotten rid of the telemarketer yet?" my wife called to me.
"Not yet, honey. He's diagnosing my warts," I called back.
"No, you misunderstand," The Voice began.
"What warts?" my wife asked, as she came into the room.
"He says I have warts," I explained.
"I did not say you had warts," The Voice tried to interject.
"Well, tell him you don't have any," my wife said.
"OK. I will," I said to my wife. Then into the phone, "I think you
have a
mistake. I don't have warts. Where did you get my number from?"
"I have this list of names..." The Voice tried to reply.
"Could you please hang up?" My wife begged. "Just because the
telephone
rings does not mean we have to answer it."
"OK," I said.
"Now please get rid of the telemarketer so we can enjoy our nice,
chilling
dinner," she said with not a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
"My wife wants me to eat my dinner," I explained to The Voice. "Can I
please have your telephone number so that we can continue this most
educational discussion tomorrow morning?"
"I'm not going to give you my phone number," The Voice retorted.
"Don't be silly. How can I call you back if you don't give me your
number?" I asked.
"I don't want you to call me back. I just..." The Voice tried to
explain.
"Now hold on just a cotton-pickin' minute," I said. "You're the one
who
wanted to talk to me in the first place. I am doing you a favor by
taking
the time to speak with you on a subject of your choosing. The least
you
can do is let me call you at the time of my choosing, so that I can
enjoy a
nice hot meal with my wife. Sa-ay, are you one of those anti-family
crusaders, calling people during dinnertime just to keep families from
spending quality time together? I've heard about people like you..."
-------
A few minutes later, I returned to my dinner, which by now was as cold
as a
penguin with no feathers. "So you finally hung up on the
telemarketer?" my
wife asked. "Good for you."
"Not quite," I admitted.
"What?" my wife started. "Is he still on the phone?"
"I don't think so," I replied. "I think he hung up on me."
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
David Leonhardt is author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/Item.asp?Catalog=Books&Item=059517826X
Read more personal growth articles:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html
Visit his liquid vitamins store:
http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net
Or his happiness website:
http://www.thehappyguy.com
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